Mutation

After a long, dark, and rough period of resentment, anger and guilt I feel things are changing.
I turned into this bitchy person, hard shelled and serious...trying to protect myself from something that might have never existed.
I always had a dark side; a romantic, introspective and nostalgic side of me that I developed during my teens. I guess I've always been freaky in that sense. But never aggressive nor resentful.
Experiences make you change, that's for sure....they make you change all the time, for better or for worse. Thing is, I had forgotten how I used to be during a period when I felt most bright and joyful. Shiny, lively.
I'm starting to remember, I'm starting to recover an energy that I'd buried somewhere, a long time ago.
I'm not afraid anymore. It's fine to let go. All things happen because we need to learn from them.
It's like I'm mutating, not backwards into whom I was, but forwards, into a blend of the old, luminous person I used to be, and the current, darker one, more experienced and less innocent.
Yes, things are really happening now...right now as I'm writing this....